How’s Everything Been?

Hey everyone, Liana here tonight, and I’m switching up our normal Tuesday routine. Typically I’d be introducing our most recently edited session to you, giving you some details about the people and their lives, and showing you their gorgeous photos. Well, this is going to be a little bit different. As most of you know, I moved to the Grand Canyon back in January of this year. At first I was excited; new town, new state, being outdoors the majority of the time, and living right next to one of the seven wonders of the world. Sounds amazing, right? The question I’m always asked by my friends and family members (excluding my mother) is “How’s everything been? Do you love it out there?”, and my response is, “Everything’s great, everything is fine.” But here’s the deal: everything is not fine.

 

Since I’ve moved out here, I’ve struggled with depression. Being away from my regular life was rough, and with a couple of deaths happening, I began to feel awful. There was a week that all I did was sleep and go to work. Self care was not on my mind. After talking to my mom and my manager, I decided to go to the clinic and see what could be done. I was put on a low dosage of anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication. While it has helped, I still struggle with depression on the daily.

 

Don’t let that last paragraph fool you; I still had a lot of good things going on for me. Within two months, I was promoted to retail lead at my job. More recently, I decided to apply for assistant manager. While I was waiting on the response for that job, things just started spiraling out of control for me, and I realized the only way I was going to be happy with myself again would be to move home. Yesterday my manager told me that I unfortunately I did not get the job (not enough retail experience) and while I was slightly disappointed, I was more worried about having to tell my manager (one of my good friends I’ve made while here) that I would not be staying.

 

So, that’s this announcement. In the middle of November, I will be returning home to good old St. Charles, Missouri. I’ve tried countless times to call the Canyon my home, but I just can’t. I know a lot of people move away from home and they can make it; but I can’t do that. (at least not to a state so far away and two time zones away.) I’m excited to be coming home for the holidays, but honestly, I’m just glad to be coming home for good. I gave it my best, and in the end it wasn’t for me. This means leaving some friends behind, but I know that I’ll stay in touch. In the end, I need to be happy, and I can’t do that where I’m at currently. I’m ready to come home and see all of my friends, family members, and my dogs. Start the countdown folks, because it won’t be long now! Thank you for sticking through this journey with me, and I promise I’ll have photos to share of my final months out here!